I'm With You
by dooski
Summary: NathanHaley piece with Nathan's thoughts to the background of an Avril Lavigne song. SPOILERS season 4 episode 3.


Setting/Spoilers!: Season 4, episode 3  
Pairing: Nathan & Haley

a/n: this is just a oneshot. Just some thoughts of Nathan's about the accident and of course Haley. The song is I'm With You by Avril Lavigne. I had Nathan explain the situation to Haley on the bridge, instead of at their home._**

* * *

**_

_**I'm standing on the bridge  
I'm waiting in the dark  
I thought that you'd be here by now  
There's nothing but the rain  
No footsteps on the ground  
I'm listening but there's no sound**_

**_  
_**I stop as I come to the spot. The one where the car went over the edge. The point where I jumped into the raging frigid waters to try and do the right thing. I'm freezing, but I don't care. Something's calling me to be here, to examine this spot. Maybe it'll trigger a memory, or better yet, an explanation. Some reasoning for why I'm left still standing, able to come to this bridge right now.

I should have died, I think to myself, in spite of the fact that I'm standing here, completely healthy. I raise my head to look up to the sky, but there's nothing to see. It's pitch black. I look down into the murky water, an image of that horrible night flashes through my mind.

**_Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home?_**

Being here really isn't going to give me any answers, I realize, frustrated. But I can't bring himself to leave this spot. It's like I'm trapped here. I am trapped. If not bound by my feet, with my memories. I can't escape this, even in my sleep.

Keith's face is still lingering in my mind. A question comes to me, one that I still don't know the answer to. Why the hell did he save me? I don't deserve it.

**_It's a damn cold night  
Trying to figure out this life_**

I don't deserve it. What have I done to deserve this? Keith never got a second chance in life. And the man has surely done a great many things better and more honorable to more people than I've ever done. Where was Keith's second chance?

I'm nothing, I realize. I couldn't even save anyone on my own. Why would anyone save me? I'm just a high school student who plays basketball. I've never done anything great in life. Why give me a second chance?

I finally really notice just how freezing I am, the coldness of the night that's surrounding me. I stare at the shadowy cloud hovering in front of me that appears with every breath I take in the cold night.

As I start to question what I'm even doing here right now, a touch on my arm fills my body with warmth. I turn to face her. It's Haley.

**_Won't you take me by the hand  
Take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are  
But I... I'm with you  
I'm with you  
_**

"Haley," I comment. What is she doing here? But I'm glad. I don't feel so empty or confused anymore for the moment. Even though I still don't have any answers.

"What are you doing here, Nathan?" Haley asks me.

I just smile at her and shrug. "I'm thinking," I admit. "What are _you _doing here?" I ask her kindly.

She starts to rub her hands against her arms. She's clearly freezing. "I'm looking for you," she admits to me.

I put my coat around her. It doesn't matter, I'm cold, but I can take it. Haley shouldn't be shivering out here. She shouldn't even be here. Neither should I, really.

**_I'm looking for a place  
I'm searching for a face  
Is anybody here I know?  
'Cause nothing's going right  
And everything's a mess  
And no one likes to be alone_**

"Nathan, what's going on?" she asks me. Her eyes show she's hurt. I hate seeing her like that. What am I supposed to tell her?

"I wish you would let me in," she tells me while I'm still thinking of what I should say.

"Haley," I say, still confused. I'm still gathering my thoughts. "I don't know what happened that night."

"Well I do," Haley tells me, "You jumped in there and you saved someone. You were a hero, and you were selfless. And we are both so lucky that everything turned out all right. What more do you want?"

I don't feel like a hero. I didn't do anything. It was Keith. And I still don't see why.**_  
_**

**_Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home?_**

"Haley," I repeat. I don't know what to say to her.

"I just need some answers," I finally admit.

"About what?" she asks me, her eyes pleading. "I just don't understand!" Her eyes are starting to tear up.

I hold her face gently in my hands. The last thing I want to do is make her cry. "Hales," I say, trying to cheer her up, and help her out a little, "I saw something that night, in the water."**_  
_**

**_Why is everything so confusing?  
Maybe I'm just out of my mind_**

"What did you see?" she asks me.

I'm silent for a minute. How do I tell her this? How do I just tell the woman I love that her husband is seeing things, and is crazy? How do I tell her that I'm nothing, I didn't do anything special. That I think a ghost saved me.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me," she says, hugging me. "Just come home."

It feels so good to hold her. I can't do this to her anymore. I can't just shut her out. I have to tell her, even if it makes her think I'm crazy.**_  
_**

**_It's a damn cold night  
Trying to figure out this life  
Won't you take me by the hand  
Take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are  
But I!_**

"I think I saw Keith in the water, Haley," I tell her. "I think Keith saved me."

Haley looks at me, finally understanding. "Nathan, why didn't you just tell me?" she asks, looking relieved. So she doesn't think I'm crazy.

Staring at her, I'm glad she doesn't think anything wrong of it. But I still don't understand myself why he saved me.

I turn to face her. She's smiling, she's practically beaming. So that's it? Nothing's wrong anymore?

She actually laughs, not at me like I thought, but out of real happiness. "Nathan, I'm so glad. Come on, let's go home." She grabs my hand and pulls me gently toward her.

I can't help but smile as her hand latches into mine. I look into her eyes again, they aren't sad anymore. They're full of hope and spirit, just like normal.

**_I'm with you!  
_**

That's when I realize, as I look into her beautiful eyes. I don't need all the answers, I'm with Haley. It's not just me that Keith gave a second chance. Haley is just as much a part of me as any other person ever will be. We're married. It's just like Haley always says, we're in this together, so when Keith saved me, it was like he was saving both of us.

I'm not just some high school kid who plays basketball. I'm a husband to the most amazing woman in this world. And thanks to Keith, I'm still here to hold her and show her every day just how much I love her.

"Thank you," I silently whisper into the night to Keith. I don't care if he'll hear me or not. I just needed to say it.

"What?" Haley asks, grinning at me as we walk over to where she parked the car.

I smile back at her, with my arm wrapped around her. "Nothing," I say. "I was just realizing how lucky I am, just like you say."

"That you made it?" she asks me, still thinking I'm talking about that night.

"Sure," I say, "But mostly, that I'm with you."

* * *

a/n: thanks for reading! 


End file.
